A Woman in Women’s Thoughts

Written By

Vinisha Gupta

A woman in woman's thoughts-03 Loading

It was a normal weekend evening and we all were sipping our tea and coffee. An expected discussion started about finding the right girl for a boy in the vicinity— to get him married of course! Four women sat on our easy chairs, the boy’s elder sister, younger sister, a female member of my family and me.  We were all educated, forward-thinking people; or so we liked to think.

For a long time I was just a silent party to this discussion.

We had just overruled a very beautiful girl, you see. We don’t have any dearth of girls running after our boy. “Nowadays, it’s so difficult to find a good girl,” went the boy’s elder sister. The highly educated aforementioned member from my family agreed to this and said, “Good girls were only available in our times. A girl who studies, has hobbies, gets married, never answers back to the in-laws, gets up early, cooks marvelously, stays at home with the kids at all times…” and the list just went on and on.

“You all will have a laugh when I tell you this!” the boy’s younger sister said, “you know what? The one we just rejected, had recently added her picture on social media holding a beer mug and that too with a guy friend!” Everyone made “hawww” expressions. While she was going on and on  about that girl, I was thinking, last night you were out with me, my husband and some of your so called GUY- and girl-friends and guzzled so many mugs of beer yourself, and (not to forget) you are married too!

I just went into a meditative state of mind, thinking about the benchmarks these polished females have set for other girls to get married. An equivalent socio-economic background, a girl who is as stunning as a leading female Bollywood actor but does not think of her career after marriage! This perfect specimen of womanhood seemed to be having a good laugh of her own in my head.

All this while I was just struggling to tolerate my so-called fellow-women sitting around me. The bottom-line of the conversation was, if one was to sum up the sundry nasty comments: that being career oriented (equals financially independent), drinking beer, having guy friends, standing up for what is right, not giving in all the time and speaking for yourself, being an individual: essentially makes a girl less “qualified” for matrimony.

I suddenly realized that my husband and I had plans to meet friends in the evening. I  interrupted the endless conversation to offer my (insincere) apologies for having to leave as we had to meet our friends over drinks and dinner that night and had to finish a ton of office work before that. Waving a gleeful goodbye to all, I left. Ouch!! Did I just say drinks and office work? Well yes, and I take pride in that regardless of all the regressive BS I was subjected to all afternoon.

I so wish I could have captured the expressions on everyone’s faces when I left. But you see I didn’t want to waste a further second in their company, I had a better evening to look forward to.

Love being a woman of your own thoughts. People around you and society will judge you regardless of how much you try to please them. Don’t stop yourself from living the life that is  right for you.




Vinisha, 30 aspires to leave a mark on this world (of course, a positive one) before turning into ashes. She is an avid reader and a blogger. Her husband is her biggest motivation who always encourages her to keep smiling .Writing is a form of meditation to her and she loves to write a lot about women in form of short stories, poetry or just a small write up. Her love for penguins has grown over the past few years which has added a new dream in her wish list to see the penguins live one day.

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