The Quintessential Marriage

Written By

Sheela Kedarinath

The Quintessential Marriage Loading

Theme: An Unexpected Journey

‘I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden … along with sunshine, there’s got to be a little rain sometime ‘crooned Lynn Anderson.

When I got married in the year 1991, I did not subscribe to the above lyrics. Viewing life through rose tinted glasses and imagining that life is going to be a roller coaster ride with more ups than downs, I was not prepared for this journey called marriage. However, once married, I was totally comfortable with life in the Defence Services and my hubby – playing a social role to the hilt and having a gala time in the lovely and quaint Air Force Station in Silchar.

And then the movement order came. To those who are not familiar with Services jargon, it meant ‘pack your bags and move to where you have been ordered, by land, sea or air’. Hubby dear came home for lunch and casually mentioned it over our meal of sambhar and rice. I blinked at him and was speechless for a moment (a rare occasion indeed) and asked him to repeat it.

When he seemed to be repeating himself, I spluttered – ‘but, but I am pregnant’. He looked at me pitifully and said ‘Yes I know, and that is why you should be happy we have been posted to your hometown Bangalore!’ Big fat tears welled up in my eyes. Now when I think about it I am sure it was the hormones acting up. ‘What about our friends and our life here?’ I wailed. He looked at me with a wary look in his eyes but decided to remain silent and let me brood over the news.

It was one farewell after another, mixed with fun, tears and promises to stay in touch – there was no mobile phone or Facebook back then. With a heavy heart, I packed my bags. All 40 of them. Bursting at their seams. Hubby could not believe his eyes. And when he mentioned that he had just about 2 or 3 suitcases before he was married, I burst into tears. He quickly put a comforting arm around me, muttered something about urgent work and before I could get more tears in, roared away on his Yezdi.

The big day finally arrived. Our whole neighbourhood turned up to wish us the best. Hubby looked like he wanted to throw out a few boxes from the truck but took a look at my face and decided not to. Amidst teary goodbyes and best wishes, we left Silchar. It was going to be one long train journey from Silchar to Guwahati and then a change of trains to reach Bangalore. The trains from East in those days generally made it a habit of reaching the destination late. And by that I mean a day or two late! We were dreading this and hoping that there would not be any major delays. The journey was quiet as I slept for a good part of it and I could see hubby dear sending his thank you wishes to the heavens above. Apart from asking him for a Masala Dosa in some station which was famous for fish and rice, I did not put him through too much trouble.

For those who are interested, the train reached 36 hours late. We were frazzled, tired and fed up of seeing each other and our co passengers constantly. Though my hubby does not express his emotions well, his constant care and concern made everything seem fine again.

This was just the beginning of an unexpected journey. Life as you know it has its twists and turns, highs and lows and it is entirely up to us if we want to make it beautiful. The whims of your spouse may be different from what you want from life but if you want to stay committed then you should respect each other’s decisions and mutually adjust.

Like they say in good ol’ Bengaluru ‘kindly adjust maadi’. And that, I believe is the secret essence of what really makes a journey like marriage work!




Sheela Kedarinath has around 20 years of varied experience in the corporate world. She has worked in the Corporate Social Responsibility sector and has also been managing administration for an MNC for a long period of time. In her personal life, she is creative and passionate about the various aspects of interior decoration. Sheela’s home and garden are her pride and joy. She has added value to a lot of her friend’s homes and balcony gardens in the last 20 years.

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