Everyone has tales of woe when it comes to queues! (Part 2)

Written By

Amrita Kolay

Tales of woe Loading

(Contd from Part 1)

The Fighter: This lady was a frequent visitor and a true wrestler. A pure Jatt and Haryanvi combined Punjabi, she had an extra gland in her lungs, preserved only for slangs. Swear words found a creative outlet in her speech and the alphabet was rewritten. She used to stand in the line and occasionally push other customers. In Punjab, that action is more than enough to ignite a spark. Just in case the pushing and shoving failed, she flavoured the action with a pinch of slang. Once the fight started, most of the bank employees rushed to solve the problem and the frustrated branch manager often requested the cashier to give her cash first so that she could leave and the commotion could be stopped.

The Dangerous Uncle: “Kudi, kha pi k aaya kr, cheti cheti hath chala” (Meaning: You girl, have a hearty breakfast daily so that you can work quickly), was the well-rehearsed line often heard by my friend and it sent chills down her spine. He was a well-built man, who had the looks of a very angry persona. With his twisted moustache, well-built body, heavy voice and a good height, he justified the famous description of an angry desi Jatt. Even while submitting the form he used to thump his hand so hard on the desk that it felt like a massive earthquake. I noticed my friend went pale just describing him. Fear was the weapon he used to get his work done quickly.

The Chatterbox: The job of a cashier is very difficult, it requires a high level of concentration. There used to be a lady coming to the bank during rush hours and talk to fellow customers at the top of her voice. Soon enough she used to make a pact with the gents and ladies standing nearby and they all filled the bank with their household stories. At some point when it was too much to take in, my friend used to occasionally, shout at the top of her voice “Please Maintain Silence” and after a moment of it (silence!), the irksome voice of the lady would start again, this time non-stop with full throttle “My Son did blah blah…My daughter got a new dress, blah blah….daughter-in-law is mean to me….. blah blah”. To avoid a headache, often my friend used to call her out of turn to the counter and clear her work first.

The Suicide: Once a customer came to the bank around 4.00 pm and demanded to withdraw Rs. 5000. My friend sitting at the cash counter informed him with regret “Out of cash, please come tomorrow”. Don’t know which part he did not understand, but he continued to demand to give him cash. So my friend took out the last Rs. 2000 note that was left and requested him to change the amount in the form and take the sum. He did so, after keeping the 2000 note in his pocket he demanded the rest Rs. 3000 and started arguing. Sensing tension, the branch manager and a senior employee came forward and explained the situation to him very politely. Again, he failed to understand each word that had been said to him. After arguing at length with the manager, he left the bank saying he was going to commit suicide and stomped out of the bank angrily. Astounded, the senior went after him to pacify and him and calm him down but that man left in his bullet motorbike. After a few days, the bank’s guard reported that the man played a trick so that he gets the money without having to stand in the line and he is proudly telling this story to the entire village. Though he got less cash than planned, still a victory is a victory!

Well, as an outsider to the bank, these ‘strategic’ tricks sounded very funny and at the same time, it left me applauding the witty brains. Working at a metro for a private sector company, we hardly get time to notice and dwell on such incidents that take place around us. Like those aunties pushing and pulling us in metros, the over desperate men throwing romantic love signals, the dancing traffic police man, the funny auto-rickshaw guy or the creative vegetable seller, everyone has a demonetisation story to tell.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

While pursuing my graduation in electronics and communication, I realized my life had nothing to do with why AC (Alternating Current) was passing DC (Direct Current) or why we had to turn into Aryabhata to answer which resistor or capacitor would fit in place. In the final semester, programming of Microcontroller introduced itself and our brief meeting was more than enough to kill the budding engineer in me. So after completing my graduation, I took writing as a full-time job. Of course, the transition was not easy and after 5 years of continuing in this field, I still encounter the question “Why did you choose to become a clerk after engineering” (I can be seen typing/writing/working all day). Over the years, I have tried my hand at various genres of writing such as Resume Writing, Blogging, Story Writing and Content/Website Profile Writing. Extracting the key points from a person's job profile and writing an impactful story in the form of a resume has always been my major area of Interest. So far I have worked for Top notch clients who were associated with big giants such as Google, Facebook, Walt Disney, IBM, Microsoft etc. Each day is a new stepping stone of learning, so I would call myself a truly passionate writer, who is keen to pour her heart out and let the rhythm of my words dance in sync with the readers.

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