Sharing the load since the 80’s

Written By

Jai Shruthi

Sharing the load Loading

Marriage is all about team work. It’s not about who is right or wrong, not about the gender role, not about gifts, not about “what will they think?” It is about creating a beautiful world for yourself and your children, as a team. A successful marriage is where you work together towards creating a better home through love and care. You share the load equally.

Every morning Papa wakes up before Maa, he cleans the kitchen slab throughly and keeps it ready for her to start cooking. He prepares the coffee and they sit and sip it together and start their morning. This is their newly formed routine, well before that they were busy running after us. But, the way they go about their chores harmoniously and their love and respect for each other has been the same for the past 35 odd years. If there is one thing that my parents ever taught me from day one is that there is no such thing as a woman’s/man’s job. And as true role models, they led through example.

Nuclear families with working parents can tip either way, the kids end up messed up, or all confident and independent. And this largely depends on the parents. My Dad never once sat around watching TV while Mom toiled with house chores. If we did find him relaxing, it was only because Mom had told him to do so as she wanted him to rest. Even so, he would check on her every few minutes, to the point that Mom would have to give him the look she gives us. He would laugh it off and go about looking for something else to do. Dad adding tadka to the dal, and Mom fixing a leaky tap might seem strange for an outsider. But at my place, it was quite the usual.

A particular memory seems etched in my heart. One of those nights when Mom was working the night shift at the hospital and Dad was home tending to us. I was 4 and my sister was 6-7 months old . She was bawling her heart out in hunger and I was hovering over her trying to make her stop. Dad walked in, unperturbed, with a bowl of cerelac and towel on his shoulder. He sat on the floor, and in complete paatti (grandma) style, stretched his legs in front, placed a pillow on his feet, took baby cupcake and positioned her over it. Slowly rocking his legs, he started feeding her cerelac effortlessly, evert once a while dabbing her toothless mouth with the towel from his shoulder.

Mom was no different; they were after all a pair made in heaven. She knew her spanners and screwdrivers, knew which electrical wire went where, and she was the one who would chase the mice out of the store room, and hold the lizard by its tail while dangling it in front of my Dad just to see him scuttle away! She once single handedly tried to chase a driver who scrapped our brand new car. Good she couldn’t drive or I am sure he would have been dragged to the station in pulp.

For us there was absolutely nothing unusual in the way my parents juggled their family and work. Unlike now, 35 years ago it wasn’t common to see the “Man of the house” do the laundry. After all, our ads have just caught up. Hopefully instead of Sundays they begin sharing responsibilities rest of the days too! Because, Marriage is all about team work.




Witty and humorous, Jai Shruthi, is an aspiring writer. She has been a professional dancer for 6 years and after dabbling in graphic design for awhile, she found her place in event management. She is currently a happy-stay-at-home Mum of two adventurous boys. She is also the founder of Shruts Handmade Stuff, a small online venture where she showcases her handmade designs. When she isn't busy with any of the above, she loves to sit back and relax with a good movie, language no bar. A dancer by soul, designer by mind and a mommy by heart, she loves to explore and expand her creative horizons.

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