Sands of time (Part 2)

Written By

Debolina Coomar

Sands of time Loading

(Contd from part 1)

“Did I just hear Jia say those words again? Is she making compromises like I did?”

Women were and still are accustomed to having their dreams shattered and wings clipped. I went back in time…the rewind button on my memory tape took me back to my teenage days. Being part of a joint family, I had set guidelines and norms to be followed. I wasn’t too ambitious, but yes, there was something brewing inside of me, which was preparing me to dream big.

We had a family business of garments, and the men in the house ran the show. I was eager to know more. But, that was always discouraged, especially by my Mother, who knew the norms of the house. My Grandfather didn’t like women of the house talking freely to their husbands in front of everybody or discussing things about the family or the business out in the open. This rule was not only for the Daughters-in-law but also for the Daughters.

One of my Aunts wanted to explore her painting skills through our business, but she was never given an opportunity. My Uncle kept ignoring her requests because no one dared to defy my Grandfather. Amidst all this, I still had a growing interest to help in the administration of our business.

And, this was because I loved numbers. I was good at Math and wanted to help our business. But, I never had the guts to speak about it to anyone. Once, I had mentioned it to my Mom, and she had warned me not to bring up the topic ever again.

Nevertheless, I still looked out for that hidden opportunity. One night, I saw my Dad working late, at his desk. I tiptoed inside and stood behind his chair. He was busy with some calculations. I noticed the crumpled papers on the floor near the dustbin. He was trying to match some figures, I gathered.

“Can I help you, Baba?” My voice shocked him out of his reverie.

“What? What are you doing here so late in the night?” he inquired.

“Nothing, I was just passing by. Can I help you with those calculations?” I asked.

“No, No, how can you help? You won’t understand anything.” He looked and sounded confused.

“Let me try, at least.” I almost barged into the papers. My Dad tried to stop me, but I was adamant. This was my opportunity, and I was not letting it go.

Swiftly, and skillfully, I understood the basics of what he was trying to achieve, and yes, I could match the balance sheet for him. He looked at the papers and then, looked at me.

I was prompt in asking, “Can I help you in your work…whenever you are stuck?”

He knew what I was hinting at, but he also knew, he would not be able to fulfil my wishes.

Years passed, and I secretly kept helping Dad. My Grandfather passed away. Being the elder son, my Dad took over the reins of our business. I saw some hope now. My Dad gradually inducted me into the business, one small step at a time. He did it so tactfully that no one could oppose. My brothers were already managing it all. But, I knew I was better than them.

When my Dad died, he had entitled me to a share in the business. He was the only one who saw my potential. This was an opportunity that God had given me, and He wanted to see if I could fight it out. But I couldn’t.

My brothers kept me away from the office with many excuses. Finally, they got me married before I could complete my education, and they coaxed me to forfeit my share as well.

The night before leaving my house, I cried in front of my Dad’s picture, “They cannot do this to me.” His silence mourned with me too.

With that memory hitting hard like a hammer, I was transported back to my present. I could still hear Jia fighting over the phone. Did someone take away something that she deserved too? Hope she has the courage to fight it out, and she doesn’t give up like I did. I promise to support her and hope my son, Atul supports her too.

I wished my Mom had supported me when I needed it the most. Times have changed, but have I? I wanted my daughter, Tulika to have an independent life, and most importantly, not to shy away from pursuing her talent. But, as a mother, have I supported her always in her dreams?

Suddenly, Sana said, “What is this, Grandma?”

Oh, my God, how did she find this?

I almost snatched the diary from her hands, and said, “Sana, it’s nothing. Go, your Mom is calling you.” Jia’s call came as a rescue.

I looked at the diary, and thought, this is a part of my life, Sana. This is my dream, which I didn’t give up. This is my biggest escape.

The letters inside sighed. Each letter was addressed to someone important in my life. I started writing after my Dad died. And somehow, I managed to keep this passion alive. I managed to hide the letters and keep them safe from everyone as I knew no one cared. No, not even Naresh, my late husband.

Some day, I will let you guys free, some day.

The doorbell rang. I could hear Tulika screaming and howling, “Ma, Ma, where are you?” Hope this time, it isn’t worse than the last. Hope, Tulika doesn’t blame me for all this…

(Read Part 3 to know what happens next)

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

As a believer of 'live & let live', Debolina likes to enjoy the little things of life. As a person who enjoys reading, writing and interacting with people, she finds it exciting to write about emotions, experiences, stories, lifestyle, parenting, self-improvement, current affairs and pretty much everything that affects a common man's life. Debolina is an ex-HR and Corp. Comm. professional, wife to a wonderful husband, mother to a lovely daughter; and a freelance content, creative writer, content developer and blogger. She strives to ignite the power of thought with a whole new perspective. Debolina shares her thoughts at: debolinacoomar.wordpress.com

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