Picture this – a literary take on ‘chuddies’

Written By

Chitra Doraiswami

Chuddies Loading

Picture this: Princess Anne, our Queen Lizzie’s daughter, bending forward with a champagne bottle in her royal hand to smack the prow of a ship and christen her ‘Anne’ or something very clever and unusual like that. The wind has picked up and it is playfully picking up the hem of her frock – this paparazzi saw the opportunity of a lifetime and clicked away! What we saw was the back view of Princess Anne getting a wedgie of a life time. This was long, long ago. Anne may be reduced to the alluvial soil in the Thames, but her wedgie lingers on in my memory.

That exemplifies the fact that your chuddy may not always be your buddy.

Talking about ‘chuddies’, who invented them anyway? Must be the same clown who invented the paunch, the bra and the corset. Clown? I mean sadist!

Ok, I accept correction – I made my own paunch along with its back up, the big bum. But who made the rest? I am asking you plaintively.

This is just between us girls, right? Then I can confess, the first thing I take off as soon as I get home is my panty and next, off comes the bra. Go on, don’t lie, I bet you do too! Unless of course, you are Deepika Padukone. The elastic in each one may have lifted my, ahem, assets, but has dug into my flesh and stayed closer than any benighted brother.

But now that they have been removed, I am very careful about cutting my toe nails…see , the ‘downtrodden’ are close to my toes. I don’t intend to give my boobs a pedicure!

I sigh (long and loud) when I see lingerie ads… my daughter tells me, scathingly, ‘Don’t even think of it. They don’t make those jumbo sizes and that ‘undie’ won’t come over your knee.’

Horrid outspoken children… I flip the page and I see this dashing..er pair of…um, lower cheeks with only a wedgie with a little wisp of a cloth above it. I believe it is the latest type of panties! Isn’t that GREAT? My chuds do it to me all the time! So much for my daughter. Here I am, a fashion icon for the over fifties and I didn’t know it!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Chitra Doraiswami, 69, is from Bangalore. She has written for many publications such as the Deccan Herald, The Times, Femina, Eve’s Weekly, etc. Chitra has many an interesting tale to tell including the one about finishing her Masters along with her son; sadly “only” getting a First Class, where her son got a rank. She joined CMR, NPS as Headmistress two decades ago and is now known as the Associate Principal of the institution. She also has a sixteen year old grandson. Chitra is an avid dancer, reader and drama-enthusiast. She's traveled extensively with her husband who was in the IAF. She taught wherever they were posted. Chitra enjoys teaching people innovative ways of helping children learn, but she is definitely not the prototypical fluffy grandma!

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