New Year’s Resolution And Falling In Love – Same!

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Remember the days when it was easy to fall in love with everything and everyone?

Remember when you used to get really excited?

Like jump up and down excited?

Wave your arms in the air excited?

Grin from ear to ear and laugh out loud excited?

Like, on the day you got your first kiss or your first car or the yes to that position you wanted so badly?

I do.

Remember, how you wouldn’t listen to any wise cautious ‘words of warning’ or have any time for naysayers and negativity? Do you remember how curious, open and spontaneous you were? How you washed, or took that new car to the cleaner weekly and walked around at the company with a spring in your stride, chin and shoulders high?

And, how it all changed over time?

As we approach every New Year, we do mental scans over the year completed as well as project into the coming one with an eager anticipation that this one is going to be better than the last one – while holding thumbs. But, holding thumbs is not a strategy.


Have you enthusiastically set yourself some new strategy with some goals?

Or have you already given up on doing stuff like that because, despite the fact that you have set them SMART-ly, they just don’t work.

I get you – the short life-span of a well-intended New Year Resolution. RIP well-intended New Year Resolution!

Chin up; you’re not the only one!

Research shows that on average, of the millions and millions of people who kick off each January with at least one NYR, 75% kept their NYR for one week, 71% for two weeks, 64% for one month and an astounding 46% for 6 months! (stats from That last figure is pretty impressive! I belong to the 46%, of course. Wink – wink.

You know why most of us fail at these goals?

There are really good expert explanations like:

– You’re being too vague.

– You fear failure.

– You procrastinate.

– You’re not hanging in there long enough, 21 days to be exact, to reap the rewards of the new habit(s) and,

– You’re formulating your goal or New Year’s resolution with modal verbs.

What are modal verbs you ask? They’re the musts, should’s, have to’s, ought to’s, need to’s  and other silly imperatives we all loathe hearing – from inside and out.

I’m hazarding a guess in that you also rebelled against a parent or others telling you what you should or must not do at some stage of your life so why do you think your own ‘instructions’ are going to work?

And, here’s another thing:

The one (never mentioned) reason why your New Year Resolutions fail is because falling in love is key to achieve success. That’s right. Fall in love and feel it with all your senses. I realize it sounds crazy to tell a professional person to fall in love but can you imagine, if managers and colleagues actually fell in love with their goals and plans, what a wonderful place our working world would be?

Close your eyes and imagine a person ‘in love’. What do they look like and what are they doing? They are unconsciously light and carefree and without any effort or stressful sighs they manage to swoop us up into their feel-good happy feelings!

Go on. Fall in love.

Fall in love with the things you want to achieve because, just like your first love, your first car and that dream job you got, you will be prepared to go that extra mile and put that final finishing touch into whatever it takes to make it happen.

But, before you do that, do this little check. Ask yourself:

– What do I really want? Start your answer with “I want……”

– What does that mean for me? Is it the beginning or the end? Think about this carefully.

If you think something is over or finished or wanting to leave it you’ll treat it like that, but if you treat it like it is a new beginning you will put the spark of passion back into success. All around you “new” things are filled with a different kind of energy to things you think are over, point- or useless!

– What am I prepared to do for it – in other words – how badly do I want it?

– What will be different / better if I achieve it, and what will happen if I don’t?

If you’re clear on these answers, you will achieve your goals. Money back guarantee.

I wish you much happy healthy revenue generating love in 2018 and remember to always be COS; curious, open and spontaneous.

PS: Do you know where all this New Year resolution stuff comes from?

The tradition goes back to the Babylonians who promised their gods that they would return borrowed items and pay off their debts on the first day of the New Year, the knights of the medieval era also renewed their vows to chivalry on the 1st of January and the Romans made their promises to the god Janus. January, gets its name from Janus who had two faces, one looking forward, toward the East – you got it – the sunny side, and his other face looking backward – toward the west – gazing into the distant sunset. Janus was the god of gates and doorways, lord over the first hour of every day, the first day of the month and of course, the first month of the year, January. Janus was also worshiped at the beginning of planting time, harvest time, marriages, births and other significant beginnings in a person’s life.




Hester is a speaker and story strategist, communication craftsperson, cross-cultural connector, and change activist. She has a unique streetkid corporate savvy which allows her to share her bold yet refreshing coaching approach with clients all over the world. She has collected over 42 000 hours of lecturing, training, coaching, consulting, mediation and more recently key note speaking on the subject of cross cultural collaboration. “Being Nice Isn’t Enough – A How To Cut Through The Niceties And Get Real Collaboration” is her second book waiting to be published. Her first book is The Flying Rhino’s Guide to Intercultural Communication was commissioned in 2015. Born South African, she has lived and worked in South East Asia, the EU, and CEE. Her current address is in India. By the age of ten she had logged more than 10 000 unaccompanied flying miles and as a young person spoke on a local radio shows telling about her solo travels to far away destinations. She remains an inspiring and uplifting storyteller with the most recent highlight being a keynote on her book at the United Nations in Vienna, 21st September 2016. Read this for more on Hester (, and get her inspirations on fb (

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