Karvachauth For Men?

Written By

Ashima Kalra

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Karvachauth! One festival dedicated specially to women.

Right after the celebrations for Dussehra ends, we often see the markets decorated with lights and mehndiwalas sitting by the roadsides. Make shift shops spring up selling bangles and makeup, too. Surrounded by this special festive atmosphere, girls begin by shopping for special outfits, matching jewelry, bangles, bindis, etc. At least that’s what I have seen in most of the Delhi markets.

Celebrations begin with the lady’s parents sending gifts for her and her in-laws couple of days prior to the day. Usually, ladies prefer to get their mehndi (Henna) done a night before Karvachauth.

A lady celebrating Karvachauth begins the day by eating sargi, given to her by her mother-in-law before the sun rises. She will fast for the rest of the day. Usually she spends the day getting ready and performing other rituals like the customary pooja.

Along with this, she is often doing one more thing and that is cooking for the husband, kids and other people in her family.

Nothing wrong with that, right?

After all, she is praying for her husband’s long life by not even drinking a sip of water. Wait, so you mean to say, he should live longer than her? Because, by fasting for his long life and not eating a single meal all day, she is already shortening her life? So then, after she is gone, will these men be able to cook for themselves? If yes, then why don’t they do it now and share her burden?

Thankfully some new generation men have a broader vision. They use their brains and often understand their partner’s struggles and aspirations. They question their parents too, to understand the reasons behind these rituals and traditions. My husband is one of this new breed and he jokes that the answer to all his questions is: “We never used to question our parents.”

On Karvachauth, in spite of not being expected to, he did not hesitate to fast with me. I insisted that he eat but he simply said, “If you want me to live long, I want you to live long with me.” This thought might be considered strange as per our social beliefs, but to me, this is nothing but the real meaning of equality.

My friends call me the luckiest women on earth, I feel so too, because, unlike other guys, my husband did not try to make me happy by putting up Whatsapp or Facebook statuses saying he was glad that he had a woman like me fast for him. Instead, his gesture for me was by making a similar sacrifice.

I don’t mean to offend anyone by citing my example. I just want you ladies to think that these traditions and rituals were made in the past when things were very different from how they are today. What worked earlier, might not work today for obvious reasons, so one must adapt and change.

Change is good.




Ashima Kalra, a free soul. I was always one but since the time I moved to Goa, away from city life, I have become more conscious about happiness, the real way. For me life is a lot more than struggling to get a job, car and a house or settling down and raising a kid (at least for now). Life is about experience and happiness in every possible way. I am with a life partner who respects my opinion. Both of us believe in equality. We work, make enough money to survive and handle house hold stuff together. Our major goal in life is to travel and explore as many places we can and keep learning.

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