Is he the right one for you?

Written By

Chitra Doraiswami

Right one for you Loading

Here is a quick quiz for you, my dear young ladies. Find out do you really (really, really, really) love him or you are just with him to bug your parents/siblings/friends? (Tick one. Or all, if you wish.) Do you agree even in your dreams that he is the right one for you?

Shakespeare said, “All the world is well lost for love,” or if he didn’t, he ought to have. He usually got all the best lines.

So, here we go …

  1. Do you really listen to him? Quick, what did you talk about the last time you met? Aha, I thought so. You don’t know because you were distracted by his abs, his biceps or his profile. He may well be a dead bore! Many an Adonis is a Ken doll – all chiseled features and air whistling through the ears. Or a younger Dev Anand if you will, firmly entrenched in front of the limelight. He is fine if you are Barbie!
  2. Does he really listen to you? Or are you just his ‘sounding board’? Does he just hold forth, blah, blah or sometimes, even occasionally, pay attention to your views? He needn’t agree but even to disagree, he should listen to you at least…
  3. Does he ogle all the gorgeous girls around? Yes, darling, all men do unless he is just back from the taxidermist. But looking is one thing but practically knocking you down to get closer look is another. Passing comments on her …er, attributes is also a strict ‘no,no’. If his tongue is lolling out, throw him out.
  4. Is he a sports fiend? You don’t mind being a sports widow every holiday while he plays golf/football/basketball/cricket, do you? Or are you crazy about some game yourself? Then it might mean that he does his thing and you do yours, every holiday. Do you need him at all?
  5. Does he patronize you? You may be a 5’9” karate black belt with a PhD in Chemistry to boot but he still ‘talks down’ to you. He is the wise man to your ‘little woman’. Watch it, sister, this man has serious insecurity issues. Sure, you want to get hog-tied to a ‘psycho’?
  6. Does he feel very proud when other men look you over? A little of it is quite nice. He admires you and he likes it when others ratify his choice. But does he look above your cleavage and see the brainy gal who has an MA in Economics? Or does he sit fixated on bits of your anatomy and then looks around to see if others have noticed what a ‘looker ’he is with? Then, the creep is only interested in a trophy woman. Not in the real you.

So, there you are… see how many you have ticked. If you have ticked even two, I would suggest giving him the heave ho . But if you haven’t ticked any, then ‘grapple him to your soul with hoops of steel’ for you have a winner.

(Just check if he has a halo hidden somewhere :-)).




Chitra Doraiswami, 69, is from Bangalore. She has written for many publications such as the Deccan Herald, The Times, Femina, Eve’s Weekly, etc. Chitra has many an interesting tale to tell including the one about finishing her Masters along with her son; sadly “only” getting a First Class, where her son got a rank. She joined CMR, NPS as Headmistress two decades ago and is now known as the Associate Principal of the institution. She also has a sixteen year old grandson. Chitra is an avid dancer, reader and drama-enthusiast. She's traveled extensively with her husband who was in the IAF. She taught wherever they were posted. Chitra enjoys teaching people innovative ways of helping children learn, but she is definitely not the prototypical fluffy grandma!

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