Hopeless Me (Part 1)

Written By

Amrita Kolay

Hopeless me Loading

”Bella, I Love You” I sighed as I watched Robert Pattinson confessing his love on screen. As a young girl, I secretly made a wish, “Please dear lord, make a vampire fall in love with me”. Well, guess what!! God listened to my prayers and he introduced a vampire in my life, but somehow, I think my wish was misinterpreted. See this is why I hate electronics, you intend to transmit a particular wavelength of the signal, and something else reaches the destination. Well the vampire that I got, was none other than my boss! Oh Yeah! He definitely loved me, thankfully, not romantically.

If we take romance off the charts, then in every other sense he fulfilled the void in my single life status. My mornings started with his call “Ami, you still asleep??? Wake up and clear all your emails before you step into the office”. After reaching the office, well mostly late, I was often greeted by a chain of emails on how unhappy he was because I did not demonstrate appropriate email etiquette while responding to clients. After making my morning more drama driven, he made sure the most challenging clients got assigned to me. As though to push me beyond my comfort zone and test new levels of possibilities, my boss would promise beyond stretch targets to clients. As a team leader, my job was to fulfil all his promises. Obviously, my lunch was often at my desk, or in a meeting with him. Like a concerned colleague, he never failed to mention “You seemed to be so lively when you joined, what happened, I never see you smiling nowadays”. Though single, my reply would be “Yeah, going through a rough phase with my boyfriend”. Astounded by the mention of another man in my life, he would reply, “Oh! I thought you were single!”. “No, I am not!”, I would reply, secretly banging his head on a very hard surface in my vivid imagination.

Agitated with the day’s events, I often left late for home, hurrying through the traffic and trying not to get myself killed. Amidst the noise pollution, my boss contributed to my sense of building anxiety by calling me constantly till I reached home. After having reached home, when I would return the missed calls as a courtesy, just like an over-protective colleague, he would reprimand me for not having answered his calls. During my evening hours, I worked with our international clients, who often sympathised with my situation. Exhausted, after wrapping all my work, I would update my boss on the day’s status and ended up sleeping after 2.00 am

So, one day, completely disillusioned and tired, I decided to take a break from this blood and soul-sucking job and submitted my resignation. I was astonished to see his look of disbelief on my move. While on the job, I gained great motivation from my clients. They loved my work, and so it gave me the confidence to take a risk and start off with freelancing assignments. But before doing so, I just wanted to recharge my batteries. So I decided to go home and sleep to my heart’s content for at least a month.

After two days of meandering around, I finally went back to my hometown Ranchi. To my amusement, the reaction that I got was like that of a failed writer and nothing less than marriage could save me! Hailing from a Bengali family, the pressure to prove yourself in the academic and professional front is very high. Otherwise, you are categorised as being useless and hopeless and then obviously at “this age” only thing is left marriage.

(Read part 2 next week to see what the writer now faces in her hometown)




While pursuing my graduation in electronics and communication, I realized my life had nothing to do with why AC (Alternating Current) was passing DC (Direct Current) or why we had to turn into Aryabhata to answer which resistor or capacitor would fit in place. In the final semester, programming of Microcontroller introduced itself and our brief meeting was more than enough to kill the budding engineer in me. So after completing my graduation, I took writing as a full-time job. Of course, the transition was not easy and after 5 years of continuing in this field, I still encounter the question “Why did you choose to become a clerk after engineering” (I can be seen typing/writing/working all day). Over the years, I have tried my hand at various genres of writing such as Resume Writing, Blogging, Story Writing and Content/Website Profile Writing. Extracting the key points from a person's job profile and writing an impactful story in the form of a resume has always been my major area of Interest. So far I have worked for Top notch clients who were associated with big giants such as Google, Facebook, Walt Disney, IBM, Microsoft etc. Each day is a new stepping stone of learning, so I would call myself a truly passionate writer, who is keen to pour her heart out and let the rhythm of my words dance in sync with the readers.

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