Career Or Marriage? I Chose Both

Written By

Kavita Mishra

I wed a sailor.thumbnail-02 Loading

Ever since I could remember, I was under the impression that at a certain age, women come to a fork way on the road and they have to choose between two paths: career and marriage. There were numerous options, yes, but they were all the subsets of these two major choices. Being a fiercely independent woman, I was quite apprehensive of choosing the road much taken, the married path. To my one-dimensional brain, this path had very few milestones that not only appeared drab and unappealing; they also seemed to rob me of my identity.

Hence, once I hit my mid-twenties, I stayed away from pesky relatives and enthusiastic married friends. They just wanted to drag me down with them; misery, after all, does love company. Sigh, how incredibly and utterly mistaken was I.

I met the man of my dreams and fell for him as quickly as a stone dropped from the top of the Eiffel Tower. Our meeting was unexpected. It was not meant to happen, but as the events unfolded the opposite appeared true. There is no way of describing the how’s and what’s of love, as there is no definite science behind it. I left the reasoning and logicality for a simpler answer, it must be magic or fate or destiny or the universe conspiring, just pick one already!

Since both of us happened to belong to the same community, getting hitched was a breeze. Whereas, for someone under the full thrall of actually finding proper, A-grade quality, makes-perfect-sense love, I quickly and conveniently forgot about the dreary married pathway and each of the milestones blurred to show my love beckoning to me with a hooked finger.

Taking a leap of faith backed by an optimism derived from a generally well-lived life, we got married. My husband is a marine engineer, which means his job needs him to be at sea from two to four months. And, I am not a fan of living alone at home if it can be helped. So, we decided I would join him on his sailing assignments. Being a content writer and an academic editor, I have the liberty of carrying my work with me. The only thing that got my goat was spending up to two weeks in water without stepping foot on land. For a terrestrial animal, this was a scary prospect. I took another leap of faith this time and landed straight on a four-hundred-meter container ship. On a container ship, every day is bring-your-wife-to-work-day. I was never devoid of company. From having all our meals together to attending safety drills, the crew was a part of my family and I was a part of the crew. Although there were days when I stayed in my pajamas for hours and watched entire seasons of TV series, there was also days where I submitted my work way before the deadline and cooked a two-course meal for ten people. There were days when I missed home so badly, I sulked and cried. But there were also those days where we went out in European and Asian cities and the atmosphere was buzzing with strangers, pictures, food, conversations, sightseeing, evenings, music, drinks and culture.

Sailing in the largest water bodies with no land to left or right for hundreds of kilometers manages to broaden your stubborn mind. When you sit on the ship’s deck and gaze at the blue sea stretching out till forever, you become a part of the horizon, and when the sun sets just for your eyes, you cannot help but feel this entire show was performed for you, the sun rose and set for you. A worrier and a drama queen, I found myself relaxing and being at peace so much so that when I did land on land, I was rudely shaken out of my mellowed existence.

Sailing with my husband was an unexpected journey that led me to visit twelve countries in four months. From the redbrick houses of Poland to the dazzling shore-light of Singapore, I witnessed the collective souls of each city and realized we are all, essentially, the same.




My name is Kavita Mishra. I am a content writer and editor, having studied the strange combination of Physics and Journalism. Originally from Bombay, I have settled down in Lucknow. Some of my articles have been published in TOI and HT.

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