Can you take my place?

Can you take my place Loading

Days spin and years sprint, as it does for all super women. Super woman; a term I proudly associate myself with.

Wait a minute, I think. Should that read proudly? Or forcefully?

That takes me to the basic question – who is a Super Woman?

The answer to this fundamental question is riddled with a few others. Is it a desired state by the woman herself or by the society around her? Is it a singular state or a skilled plurality of diverse genres? – Super mom. Super wife. Super daughter. Super friend. And, of course, how could I forget – a super professional!

I am sure I have missed quite a few more of such super tags, but never mind. This generic list will do for now.

Here is my typical ‘super woman’ day replete with gnawing questions by my loved ones and well-wishers (although I do often wonder if they really are that!)

 “Can you drop me to school today?” Or, “Can you help me with my school project?” – This, to me, as a mom.

“Can you cook my favorite dish today? It’s been real long since you cooked.” Or, “Can you talk to our banker and evaluate the plans he has for us?” You guessed right, to me as a wife.

“Can you lead this critical project? It needs to be turned around real quick and none better than you can make that happen.” Bingo, this is to me as the professional! And, never mind if the tune is different in an appraisal session!

“It’s been so long that we went out for a coffee and some shopping. How about today?” Oh yeah, it’s the dear friend, who has an unaccounted hour in her ‘super woman’ schedule.

And then you have those delightful assumptions of you as a super woman.

“You don’t actually gym regularly – do you?”

“I think you must enhance your skill, why don’t you take up a certification course?”

“You have been missing your classes.”

“Look at you, are you not taking care of yourself?”

“You have been postponing your appointment with the beautician for too long now.”

When was the last time your advocate spoke for you from within?  Fighting to get you the precious ‘me’ time amidst the flurry of trying to accommodate all the above requests and defending the ones you missed? Do you actually hear a voice ask you what you enjoy the most?

Er… I can’t even remember something like that.

 Stop that SIGH – it is the best thing you can do for yourself.

Because, that sigh will settle down into assuring you that you are so indispensable to your loved ones. And, make you feel so good about wearing that martyr crown – and tell yourself that the struggle is so worth it, when you see your family so happy and contented.

As an intelligent woman I know no one is indispensable. So I fool myself thinking that all these are my ‘to do’ duties just to wear that shiny super woman crown.

So. Let me see how it looks like when I am Ok with a less shiny crown.

It doesn’t look so bad at all!

It says that I am neither good nor bad based on whether:

My child got a top rank in school, or caught a cold, or cried this morning, or behaved spoilt this afternoon.

I came home from work too tired to and we had to order a pizza dinner (in fact, the kids think you are super cool when you do that!)

I forgot to wish my mom or dad or friend happy birthday till a day or two later.

I forgot to pick up my groceries today and have to stare at an empty store shelf or fridge.

I threw the odd tantrum in front of my family today.

That’s right. The crown is lighter. But it still fits. And best of all, it still says ‘Super Woman’!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Vidya Prasad – An idealist by nature, I am a person full of dreams, passion and love! Apart from being a mom and a wife, I am also a Corporate Communications lead for a global ITES company based out of Mumbai. As a part of my profession I do write a lot at work but being able to pen your deep thoughts and share it with a similar mindset group is a different high altogether. In my free time (which is quite rare these days) I like to write, read, do nature photography (on I phone - not a pro) and go for nature walks. Janaki Rajagopalan - As an individual, I love life, friends, books, music, movies, travel, meeting people. I believe that one is only as old as one feels, and that one can find at least one redeeming feature even in the person one dislikes intensely. I love expressing myself through writing and have authored two books. As a professional, I have, after a 25+ year corporate stint in people management, taken a shot at being an independent writer and HR consultant.

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