Beware of the Grizzly Bear!

Written By

Ushasi Sen Basu

Beware of the Grizzly Bear! Loading

Perhaps because being a mother doesn’t involve medals and ‘employee of the month’ certificates, women are constantly competing amongst themselves to be ‘Best Mom in the Universe’. We boast about balanced diets (“my kid has never tasted ice-cream and LOVES karela!”) and how our offspring were potty-trained in the womb. We’ll make tall claims about our wonderful mothering techniques despite the fact that some of our kids are (it hurts me to say this) pint-sized bullies with decomposing teeth. And we turn into grizzly bears. Read on and find out how.

I belong to an online community of moms that’s 26000 heads strong. It’s a fund of quick-fix mommy tips, with everyone helping everyone else out with a “Here ya go, sweetie” kind of vibe. But mention one or all of these topics and it’s like an annual congregation of grizzly bears running amok. And rightfully so, I may add, I go all grizzly-bear along with the rest.

It is a very, very bad idea; however firm your views on the matter, to make patronizing comments about other mothering styles, especially vis-à-vis:

  1. Breastmilk vs. formula
  2. Working mothers as opposed to stay-at-home moms
  3. Readymade Diapers vs. Cloth Diapers
  4. Treating your kids with Western vs. Homoeopathy & Eastern Medicine
  5. Caesarian vs. Natural deliveries.

These are all sensitive topics that can stir up needless guilt and anger in countless mothers’ breasts (no pun intended). The merest whisper deeming one better than another can make bitter enemies of the closest buddies.

Though most people have firm opinions on one or the other, you’re just asking for a paw up the hooter if you indulge in the “Did you know you’re doing it wrong?” line of conversation. It’s presumptuous (not to mention dangerous) to insist that only you know the truth of it. There are a million reasons why a mother chooses one way over another, after — if she’s a reasonably good mother — weighing all the pros and cons.

Accept and respect that, and know you’ve made the jobs of other harried mama bears just a tad bit easier without lifting a finger.

With the added bonus of staying on the good side of the rampaging hordes of savage grizzlies when they next congregate.




Ushasi Sen Basu, 37, lives in Bangalore and is the erstwhile Editor-in-Chief of She published her debut contemporary literary fiction novel, 'Kathputli’ in early 2017, in both Kindle and paperback formats. Ushasi has been a professional writer and editor for over a decade. She also has an unpopular blog called The Crib that pokes fun at everything, including herself. Ushasi (aka Shashi, "U" and 'You-Over-There') loves literature and music, and dances like nobody’s watching. She is the mother of a five-year-old girl, who is the joy of her life and grudging guinea pig for many of her parenting experiments.

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