Ma Thoughts Series: A Daughter Is A Daughter…

Written By

Vinisha Gupta

A daughter's thought.Vinisha Gupta-01 Loading

My best friend was getting married. Two days before the wedding, Meenal and I sat in her room with the door shut because she did not want her mother to hear the conversation we were going to have. I bolted the door before sitting right next to her on our favourite ‘gossip couch’ she has had for the last 10 years. Smartly, she had asked her mother to make gobi parathas for both of us so that she stayed out of earshot in the kitchen while we talked.

I could somehow feel the pain she felt. And why wouldn’t I, I have been her friend for fifteen wonderful years. I asked her if there was a problem. Tears began to fall and she hugged me tightly. I became worried, held her firmly and asked, “What’s wrong Meenal?” more loudly than I intended.

After composing herself with a drink of water from her Tom and Jerry sipper, she started, “Sam, in two days, I’ll be married to the love of my life, but I am worried. You know what sort of bond I share with my mother. I am the only person she has looked to for anything from the time our parents separated. Neha (her sibling) is too young to understand, I doubt she can fill the gap when I am gone. I am terribly worried that my mother will not call me when she is in need. Worrying about bothering me or what Rohit (her fiancé) would think. I’m really concerned, Sam. I don’t want her to think she will be all by herself.

I smiled and said, “You are going to be 2 hours away, Meenal. You are talking as if you are going to be 1000 miles away! Your mother’s world revolves around you daughters. You shouldn’t have to worry about whether you can be there for her when she needs you! If she doesn’t call you, you call her up. If she is unwell, go and stay with her, Take her out for dinner/lunch, movies with or without Rohit. If you find ways to stay connected with her regularly, she will not feel the vacuum too much. Meenal, it’s only we, the daughters of this generation who can alter the way our society thinks. We shouldn’t give two hoots to the regressive mentality of society that forces a girl to be disconnected from her family and meet them only on festivals and for family gatherings. It’s time society understands that a daughter’s responsibility towards her family doesn’t end after she has exchanged vows. Nobody in the world has the right to tell you when to meet or call your family. If a girl is willing to support her family emotionally, financially or in any other way, it should not become the talk of the town.  Sorry for such heavy lecturing but you relax, honey! Your husband is one of my much-loved cousins and neither he nor his family will ever let you be in a situation where you have to think twice to see or speak to your family.” Meenal’s long breath held a sigh of relief. I felt better as well.

By this time, the aroma of gobi parathas had wafted through the house; Aunty called out for both of us.

That night, Meenal‘s worries made me ponder on what went through a girl’s mind while getting married. Meenal was lucky enough to marry into a family which had moved with the times.  But then again, there was my neighbour. She was a beautiful and educated young girl who married a boy from a filthy rich family. The first six months things were very amiable. Then, one day she dropped in for a cup of tea at my place and she confided in me that her parents were banned from the house. My jaw dropped at the very thought of such a thing. I never expected it from my educated, prosperous neighbours. Trouble started on her father’s birthday, when she and her brother planned to throw a surprise party for him. She was falling short of some cash, so without a second thought, my neighbour asked her husband for help. He was furious and literally dragged her to his parents. The final fallout of the melodramatic situation was that her family was not welcome in the house anymore. Her husband and mother-in-law accused her in no uncertain terms: “Just because we have more money than you doesn’t mean you will ask us for money to celebrate your father’s birthday. We don’t know, perhaps you are already stealing money and helping them!” I was in shock when she told me this. I had never imagined that there was so much of filth right next to our house.

I closed my eyes, hoping for a day when girls are not harassed if they want to be available for their folks in any way. When society respects a daughter who remains a daughter throughout her life.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Vinisha, 30 aspires to leave a mark on this world (of course, a positive one) before turning into ashes. She is an avid reader and a blogger. Her husband is her biggest motivation who always encourages her to keep smiling .Writing is a form of meditation to her and she loves to write a lot about women in form of short stories, poetry or just a small write up. Her love for penguins has grown over the past few years which has added a new dream in her wish list to see the penguins live one day.

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